This year things are especially tight for us, it's no surprise. Having a baby and knocking out one whole income. The adjustment has been...an adventure.
Christmas is not about presents. I've never been into material things. This year we decided we weren't going to buy each other gifts, but make them instead. I LOVE that idea. Gift's from the heart are so much better then from a store. This idea and plan was no problem for me. But I'm not sure about Evan. He is a man of very little words. And when I bring up any idea I feel he might not be 100% for I get concerned and want to know his thoughts and feelings on the matter so we can discuss and try to make sure we are both happy. When I don't get the feedback I feel I need, I tend to talk more about the topic to either make myself feel better about making Evan unhappy, or to try and sell him on the idea...usually both.
We did very good and saved money enough that we are able to go to WA after the holiday's. Now, isn't that an awesome gift for me?!... Yes, I think so too. However, Evan still says he wants to get me something, he wants me to open something on Christmas. I think I understand where he is coming from, and yet I don't. He wants more and better for his family. He wants it all. But doesn't he understand, I don't care about presents, or things? After all he knows about me, doesn't he get it yet that NOT spending money makes me happier then getting gifts? Having money in savings is the best present for me.
And yet, I still understand he wants to be able to put money in savings to make me happy, AND buy me the little things I say I want to make me happy as well. This time in our lives is but a small moment. These moments are what build Relationship Character and awesome memories. I'm not worried about not getting everything I want...IN TIME. I don't mind waiting. It just makes when you do finally get something that much sweeter.
I told Evan last week how proud I was of him and how thankful I was for all he does to provide for us, and for all he sacrifices for us. To which he replied how he wished he could do more. =( That made me sort of sad, and got me to thinking. So I asked him a few days later if he thought I would be any less of a freak about spending money and saving money years from now when he is making more and we are more well off? He said yes.
Too bad, I told him. "I'm going to be a nut about money forever, maybe a little less freakish, but I will always cut coupons, and want more money in savings and not want us to spend too much money and live smaller then what we make." I'm not a basket case just because we don't have much right now. This is who I am. I told him, "I just don't want you to think there is ever going to be an end to my craziness over saving. This is me."
But back to my point. It's difficult for me and I feel torn about wanting to let Evan feel good and buy me a little something, (which won't break the bank. I just don't want anything) or stick to my guns and make sure we keep it real about the true meaning of Christmas. I'm truly happy waking up Christmas morning w/ my 2 favorite boys, going over to Laura's house and spending time with family. Evan's success, to me, is not the presents and things he gives me. It's the type of man he is, it's how he lives his life, and the type of example he is and will be for his family. How do I get Evan to believe me and know he is already giving me everything, and to be happy with that?
i don't think you can get him to believe you or that it really is a matter of 'beleiving' you. he is who he is too and he likes stuff and he may never change to the degree you would like just as you may never with not wanting to spend. maybe that is HIS love language (gifts) and we tend to speak the language that we are. i think you both are doing great for as different as you are! love you both and looking forward to those christmas crepes! :)
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