Week 17 update

I’m still very, very tired. I have started carpooling since Thursday of last week, so I get up at 5:30am. I don’t usually get home until a little after 6pm, I make myself a miracle whip and turkey sandwich, watch 1 TV show until I fall asleep on the couch, I usually walk myself upstairs before Evan gets home from work, but, in addition to this schedule I’m trying to make some extra money and have been blessed to have the opportunity to teach a gal from work some dance moves for an hour after work this week as well. I’m so thankful for the opportunity to get more exercise, make some extra cash, build a new friendship and refresh myself on my dance moves, but this week has been increasingly exhausting for me. But, I wouldn’t trade or skip anything, I just wish I had more hours to rest and relax without always just heading straight to bed.

And with Evan working so late we don’t get to spend ANY time together, all he gets out of me when he gets home and wakes me up to say hi and good night are grunts. I’m really not happy with the lack of communication and together time we are getting. I want to hear about his day like I used to, and I want to tell him about my day like I used to. I miss having dinner together, and sitting on the couch snuggling while we watch TV.  I NEED quality time with Evan, it's not a luxury, this is a necessity for me.  ESPECIALLY right now when I feel like my time with him will be robbed away even more in a few more months, I don't like it falling apart so soon.  I have NO time with him now, how can it get worse? But it will.  I'm not trying to be negative, but if I knew it would be like this I would have waited longer.  I didn't know even before the baby comes I'm robbed of time with Evan.  I'm not ready for this distance and passing in the night.  I don't even really feel married anymore.  I feel so desperate right now I'm willing to be broke and stop working just so I can be home when Evan is.  Just to have the opportunity to do more then kiss his cheek as I'm leaving for work and send a few sporadic texts during the day to say hi.  We'll see, hopefully next week will be different, and his schedule will allow us some time together.  And maybe I'll get a burst of energy somewhere that allows me to stay up until 9:30!!! =)

I’m sure I am growing, but I still can’t really tell, when I look at myself it still just looks bloated and gross. I’m not complaining, I want to stay small and not show as long as possible. I still have those sharp growing pains, but it’s nothing too bad. Supposedly I’m no longer supposed to lie on my back anymore. Until I get bigger I’m going to continue lying on my back. I don’t think there is enough weight in me yet to cut off any blood flow, I naturally lay on my back, I have trained myself to sleep that way due to the many, many nights I sleep with a heating pad under my neck to relieve neck tension. I’m still laying on my tummy too, but maybe at a little more of an angle. Now that I know my “puffy tummy” is more then puff, I’m a little more conscious of my tummy sleeping.

The baby will be the size of a Bell Pepper this week from head to bum.  It sure doesn't look to me like I have a whole bell pepper in me...