BLESSINGS!!!

Finally! The clouds have lifted!!!!  I feel like the light is finally starting to come through.

I have been blessed, am being blessed and know I will continue to be blessed.  I'm so thankful right now.

It started with my new job.  I was offered a full time permanent job at a Dental Office that seemed wonderful.  After 2 interviews, and 1 working interview I finally got the job!  However, they only wanted to pay me the barest minimum I said I could handle.  Which was sort of a bummer.  But doable under the circumstances.  On Wednesday I went in to fill out the New Hire paperwork and the Office Managers demeanor seemed to have totally changed.  Which sent up a little red flag.  But since I was going to working in another office it didn't bother me too much.  It was more just a surprise to see such a difference.  THEN, as she was going over the office policies of being on a 90 day probation she stressed the importance of needing to be on time and there everyday.  I'm of course fine with that.  Anyone that knows me knows I'm reliable in that area.  However, I mentioned to her that for 6 weeks starting Aug. 3rd I would need to leave an hour early due to a birthing class in Brentwood, (Close to an hour and a half away)  She got very stern and said that would not work.  That their policies were pretty much not negotiable.  She told me to call my instructor and see if I could be 15 min. late and leave work at 5pm like I'm supposed to.  There is no way I could get off work at 5pm, and make it to Brentwood by 6pm WITHOUT traffic.  Let alone during Rush Hour!  That was a Major Red Flag to me.

Long story short, I told her I would need to leave at 4pm, period.  She was not happy about that and said she would need to ask the Dr about that.  On Friday, I got a call from Adecco, they had a job for me in Nashville at the same rate of pay for 18 weeks checking CDL's for accuracy.  I accepted that job since he needed to know on the spot.  I didn't know what to do.  I now have 2 jobs I'm supposed to start on Monday.  Which one to take?  The one that I feel will be overwhelming me with emotional havoc, but be close to home and save me over $100 a month in gas etc, or the one that I have to drive an hour to and spend money on gas and wear and tear on my car but will emotionally be more suitable for me during my pregnancy, and since it's temporary I don't have to feel bad if I decide to not go back after the baby is born?  Which by the way, the dental office wanted me to come back to work after 6 weeks.  I just can't imagine leaving my baby so soon.  I TOTALLY understand about needing money and some woman can't afford to wait longer.  That would just tear my heart out. =(

I had so many Pro's and Con's to each side I was really struggling to make the right decision.  I was praying a lot and I remembered the advice I got from my Bishop years ago when we were discussing recognizing the spirit when you are faced with 2 decisions not knowing which one is right.  Sometimes either one is fine, and the Lord will let you decide what you want.  I was told, that if you pray about your decision then go forward and act using your best judgement God will not punish you for doing what you thought was best.  If you pray, then move in one direction and the Lord wanted you to choose the other he will make it happen.  Gorden B Hinkcley said the only way he knows how to get anything done is to get on his knees and pray for help and then get on his feet and go to work!  So that is what I did.  After a lot of deliberation and seeking a lot of advice I had finally made my decision by Saturday afternoon.  I was going to go with the Dental job and I felt pretty good about that and confident I made the right choice.  I asked Evan earlier what he would do, and he said he would just take the first job that was offered to him.  And that was pretty much all he had to say about that, other then that he pretty much just listened as I thought out loud about all my options.  Saturday evening I announced my plan to Evan and he started bringing up more pros for the temp job.  What Is This?!?!  I had my mind all made up, now I'm doubting myself again. =P grrr.  But it was a good grrr, because very quickly my decision had changed for the last time to the temp job.  Thanks to Evan for being inspired to open his mouth and follow his impressions

So today I arrive at work in Nashville and have to wait for over an hour with 2 other new temps for our trainer to arrive.  So we sit and wait and watch people come in and out of the building.  Finally we are told that someone else will be taking over and training the temps until the real guy comes, but I was going somewhere else and to sit and wait for Paul.  Hmmm, interesting I thought!  Turns out Paul is 2nd to the highest guy in that division and needs a personal secretary to help him get and stay organized because he is so busy.  Why did I get picked for this job instead of one of the other temps?  Apparently while we were all sitting there picking our noses waiting for our trainer Paul had walked by and I was the only one that smiled at him!  Imagine that?!  I got a little promotion just by smiling!!  That's AWESOME!!

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE what I'm doing!!  This guy is so awesome, I'm going to love working with him.  I just hope I can learn everything and impress him and others.  At this moment I have NO CLUE at all what in the heck he is talking about.  I'm trying very hard to look like I get it, but ask the questions I need to without sounding like a TOTAL Dufus.  It's no secret I don't know anything yet, but I just don't want to be a slow learner.  I'm so thankful this all happened as it did.  There is no way I can deny the Lord's total and complete hand in my life.

Driving home, I was just so at peace and happy.  I teared up a little just at the pure joy of finally having joy in my heart and peace though my whole body for a change.  I was talking with the baby on the way home as he was kicking me and moving around.  say, "You're Mama's finally happy, isn't this nice?  We finally get to feel peace and joy, this is pretty awesome huh?!"

Being perfectly happy and content I wasn't looking for more.  I was happy with what I had, then my phone rang.  It was a Midwife (who I need to keep secret for now).  She lives close to here.  I got her name from Laura but was told she may be too busy to take me.  I had to try, giving birth anywhere other then in my home is just not what I'm willing to do.  I don't want to be forced to give birth in an environment I'm not comfortable in.  The thought of a hospital delivery just broke my heart.  I was scared I would not get what I wanted, and feel I need to have the type of birth I know I'm capable of having.  This woman is AMAZING.  I have not met her but I feel immense peace about her.  I KNOW I'm in good hands, I don't feel I could have hand picked a more perfect woman to help me deliver my baby.  Laura, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for keeping your ears and eyes open and for asking around.  I owe you SO much!

I just can't believe how life happens.  Things happen, good and bad in the snap of a finger that can alter your life.  It all happens so quickly sometimes.  I far prefer the good.  I'm just so thankful for a break in this seemling endless cycle of trials and "growing experences".