Upbringing

Evan and I were talking the other day about how we were raised.  The biggest thing we talked about was going out to play.  If I was going outside I had to tell my mom, and that would always be followed by, "stay where I can see you!"  If plans changed and I wanted to go to a friends house I had to come back in the house and ASK my mom if I could go, that wasn't always a shoe in answer.  She would think about it, ask a few questions, then let me go...maybe.  I was thinking mostly of my time as a very young kid in WA living in our first apt.  I remembered even if we wanted to go upstairs to play with the dog at our neighbors place we had to ask.  It was all about asking and getting permission before we did anything.  I now feel it is just a matter of respect.  I was never bothered by it, it was just how I was raised, I didn't know any different.

Evan's life growing up was totally opposite.  He and his brothers would literally be gone all day, they would walk through town, stay in the woods all day!  Evan even said he and his friends would look at the other kids in the neighborhood that couldn't go all over and stay out all the time and that had to check in and tell their parents where they were going with remorse.  They thought that life had to suck.  Well, that was my life and it didn't suck because that is just how it was.  Evan never told his mom where he was going or what he was doing. 

If Reagan was gone or did the things Evan did and took off all day I would FREAK!!  I told Evan, if I couldn't see Reagan or know where he was I would be screaming, calling neighbors and banging on peoples doors.  About that time many scenes of my mom screaming like a crazy woman when she couldn't find us kids goes through my mind. =)  hmmm, she isn't seeming so crazy now...  *sigh* wow, I'm so much like my mom!

This conversation lead us to the present day.  Evan brought up how this little conversation helps him understand me a little more, he said, "This is probably why it drives me so nuts when you ask so many questions, you always want to know, where are we going, how long are we going to be, what are we going to be doing, I'm just like, grrr, wait and see!!"  That had me laughing, because I really do like to know a lot of information and I find it pretty disrespectful some of the things Evan does without consulting me.

I really check with Evan over very tiny things, I see it as being polite and doing the right thing.  Just today I got our Pampered Chef stuff delivered and I called Evan to make sure he was fine if I opened it.  I'm not sure if he would have done the same.  I like checking with Evan.  It is my way of showing respect and love.  I don't know if I would have seen our behavior as a result of our upbringing but I can clearly see that now.  Poor Reagan is going to grow up in a strict house like mine, well, I don't really think my growing up was strict, but compared to Evan's it was.  Times are even scarier now, I will protect my son as best I can.  I will follow my instincts and hope Evan will respect them.