New Year



First picture of the New Year!

 First off I just have to say, How totally adorable is Reagan's little New Year outfit?!!!  I'm so glad Aunt Laura got this for him for Christmas!  I had seen it at Walmart for $3.  Evan and I momentarily switched positions.

Jenn: "ohhh, look how cute this is?  It's only $3, we should get it, do you want to?..."
Evan: "Why spend $3 when he will only wear it once?"
I tried to rationalize that we may have more boys, and as long as his arms fit, you don't need to snap the bottom of the onesie next year. =)
End result, I put it back with a pout on my lip. =)

As fate would have it, we ran into Laura and the kids as we were pulling our cart out from looking at that outfit.  While chatting I told her about the cute outfit and the conversation E and I had.  Laura had already mentioned awhile ago that she got a little something for Reagan for Christmas.  So imagine my happiness and surprise when I opened up the very outfit I was wanting.  And imagine Laura's happiness to hear that day that we didn't get the outfit!!  I'm sure she would have told us, but what a bummer if she had to wreck her surprise.

Hungry boy, not in the mood for a pic

 Evan had to close on Friday since he is the only Manager that doesn't party.  (So much for being rewarded for righteous living. =P heehee)  I was so bummed, E and I have yet to spend a New Years together.  Plus it was Reagan's first new year.
Laura was having a get together at her house, I wasn't about to stay at home alone just because Evan had to work.  But thankfully Evan being the manger worked his magic, closed the store a bit early and let everyone head out.  So he was able to make it to Laura's by 11:30.  Perfect timing!
We played Phase 10 for a bit but everyone was so tired we didn't end up finishing...but just to add, I was in the lead! =)


Reagan reflecting on his year

 Let's first look back on last years resolutions and see how we did... Last Years Blog Post
My goal's: get back down to 125-130lbs, take sewing and piano lessons, and keep going to the temple once a week.
I was on my way to losing weight, I got very close, but then I got pregnant, If you look up a few more posts, from our new years declarations last year you will see the results of my sewing attempt.  I still want to learn to sew, but maybe have someone teach me this time, I think I'll be less likely to throw a sewing machine across the room if it's someone else's. =)  I think I had 2 piano lessons with my Sister in Law Lise.  But we both had conflicting schedules so that didn't really work out.  I still want to learn to play the piano too.  While E and I were in WA I easily kept the temple goal, going 2-3 times a week.  I knew once we moved here that goal would be a lot harder to obtain.  So I modified it to once a month, I achieved that goal, until I no longer worked in Nashville.


Evan's goals: to start blogging on here!! Not drink caffeine and not leave his shoes a mess in the closet for his wife to pick up. =)
E achieved EVERY SINGLE one of his goals!  Way to go babe, I'm so proud of you!!  Keep it up!...now maybe we can tackle that closet of yours and the explosion of clothes that is oozing out of it. ;)
Our family goal: individually read through the triple combination, go to the temple once a week as a couple and have a baby!"
DANG!  I was pretty close to that goal of the scriptures.  It's odd, I was definitely a more consistent reader then Evan, but when Evan did read he read more pages.  E is a fast reader, I'm not.  I like to think about what I'm reading and give it time to sink into me.  I can read faster and I could have achieved this goal, but just merely "getting through it" wasn't my goal.  I wanted to get through it and love it and learn from it.  I didn't achieve any of my goals. =(  Evan tries to correct me and say, "we had a baby."  But that was still one of HIS goals, I was just the vessel he needed to get it.  Don't get me wrong, I love Reagan with all my heart, but if it was up to me I would not have gotten pregnant so soon.

HA, "so soon"!  I'm 30 years old, how old do I need to be before I'm old enough? =)  I'm thankful Evan set that goal for us.  I love Reagan and my family.  Heavenly Father has his own timing and knows what he is doing.



Too much party, Milk hangover


Okay so now for this years goals:

Jenn's: Get a Will, a Living Revocable Trust & Life Insurance, a Mission account set up for Reagan, and get back to 130-135.  Also, Laura chooses a word to live by for the year, last year hers was Love.  I like that idea and I decided this year, in addition to the above mentioned goals I will also pick a word...well 2 words to work on and live by...LET GO.

I have noticed that since I was young I have felt this need to prove that I'm strong and refuse to be walked all over or taken advantage of.  And if someone does something to me I need to some how get back on top and do something to make a point.  Whether it's something small like someone cutting me off in traffic.  I then feel I need to either get on their butts and honk my horn, or even better, if I can pass them and cut them off.  It really does make me feel better after I'm done.  How childish and horrible is that?!  I'm not proud of it.  I know how stupid I look. 
It seriously drives me nuts when Evan is driving and someone does something totally jerky to him and he doesn't honk his horn.  I get so upset and physically get stressed, my head gets tight and really feels like it might bust, my ears start to hurt, I can get a headache and my neck and shoulders get all tense.  It's a very real tension and anger I feel if Evan doesn't stand up for me, and us and let the people know they are jerks.  I get upset at Evan and accuse him of not caring about how I feel, or if I get upset.  I tell him, "it's just honking your horn, is my stress and anger worth not merely honking the horn? You'd rather have me mad, then honk your horn?!"  Ridiculous I know.
Or, just last night it's sort of a long story, but our neighbor's friend parked in my parking spot.  So I decided to park in front of them and block them in!  I felt good about that.  They make a big deal when Laura parked in their spot once, and they keep us up all the time with their parties, smoking, loudness and sliding down their stairs. (yes, I said sliding down their stairs, 2 college men being stupid)  So I felt justified.  I did ask them to move their car first last night and they so rudely shut the door in my face TWICE!!!  Evan really had a hard time with my behavior and finally got me to agree that he could move my car.  I can't tell you how much it bothered me.  It took me over 2 hours to get to sleep because of all the stress my body was feeling and the heat and pressure in my head from being so bugged that I didn't do anything to "win" against them. 
I'm really not proud of how I am.  I REALLY want to not be this way.  I would love to be like Evan and not need to prove myself or WIN like that.  I don't like feeling the way I do.  At times I really don't care that I'm not the "bigger person"  It really feels better sometimes not to be.

Oddly I can remember when this all started.  I was a kid, my mom had sent me into McDonalds to get her a drink.  I was next in line and some jerk cut in front of me just because I was a little kid.  I didn't say anything to him.  I just stood there.  Once I got back to the car and thought about it I remember at that time being mad at myself for not sticking up for myself.  I told myself that would never happen again.  Ever since I have been trying to prove to myself (by proving to others) that I'm worth standing up for and that I won't be walked over or taken advantage of ever again.  I don't want to get too philosophical, but I wonder if this need to stand up and be strong and win has to do with other things that happened when I was kid.  Do I still feel the need to stand up and be heard and be in control and strong?  Either way, I'm old enough now I need to grow up and get over that need.  It's just getting worse.  I want to be able to let go and mean it.  Not let go and feel jilted or violated and that people got away with anything.  I want to let go and feel peace and genuinely not care if they get their punishment or are held accountable for what they did.

I need to say, I'm not like this all the time.  I forgive many people and forget and have total peace in my heart.  Just certain things trigger my feelings of needing to win and be strong and in control.  But I will make a very strong effort this year to work on this.  I think this is a great goal to take to my councilor and get some help and support with this.

Evan's Goals:  Start school, (Talk about lots of trials just to get accepted! Nothing has gone smoothly for him.) Get his Iraq body back, (I'm especially excited about that one!!) and read the Bible!  I have tried a few times to get through the Bible in a year...it's never happened.  I'm totally rooting Evan on, I hope he achieves it.

Family Goal:  Have 2 more babies!  Just Kidding.  Remember to read Scriptures & have family Prayer every night.  This is with both of us remembering, not just me relying and waiting for Evan to remember.